Monday, December 21, 2009

Being a Wife

Being a small girl was simple.
Get up, go to kindergarten, play till dawn, bathe, dinner and sleep.

Being a teenager was simple.
Go to school, revision, exams, friends and score.

Being an undergrad was simple, and fun.
Friends, hang out and date.

Being an employee was simple.
Initiate a task, execute it, and report the rest.

Being a friend was simple.
Be the shoulder to cry on, hang out and treasure.

Being a daughter was simple.
Obey parents, love parents and take care of them.

Being a wife was never simple.
At least, at the beginning.
At least, all the problems one had being a girl, teenager, undergrad, employee, friend and daughter gone.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

W-Day: Final Week Preparation

This is my final week. Fuh. Have yet to post anything about my wedding! Malas laa.... very the busy one maaa...

OKLAH, just for the sake of updating jak tok.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Raya II

We dugged soil and mixed them with water, cooked on top of 'stove' where we lit the 'stove' with dried leaves and some minyak tanah where nenek used it to lit all lampu raya later tomorrow. We stirred the soil to make sure that it's cooked. Some kids.

When the soil is done, we'll take some peghiyok lama and put the soil into it, and put it in the fridge, old fridge, under nenek's house. Inside, we can see some chicken's eggs. Not bought, but eggs which were from the hen itself. The old fridge used by the hen to lay its eggs, and, maybe because it forgot that it has some eggs inside, so the eggs lay unlaid. Haha.

Scattered under the house were some old junks: nenek's cucuk sanggul, nenek's sofa. All vintage. I was a kid, so I don't think there will be any benefit for picking them up and bring them up to nenek's house. We played all day till it was late afternoon. We as in: Ijah, Emma, Khair, Mie and Ann.

The clock showed that it was 4.30 or so, we got ready to go swimming. My sister and I loved this session. We do have river back in Mukah, but this one will be with cousins. So off we go, to the kalan, bringing together towels that we borrowed from nenek.

This was fun. Clinging to the kalan, with our feet floated in the coffee-with-milk color river. We stroked a bit, changed places sikit. Whenever the kapal balak melintas, big waves hit us and this was the climax. We laughed.

We played in the river like nobody's business. We didn't realise that time was nearing Maghrib. Nenek, with a can in his hands, ready to scare us. We were really, really scared cause he yelled and frigthened us. But, I know he'll never ever can us for real.

Back in the house, I piled up all wet clothes in one basin and ready to take bath using clean water. The water, came from a tank, two of it, was direct from the sky; rain. We had no problem with that, as you know, some villagers would still take bath in the river. Oh, and sometimes we did take bath, washed clothes in the river. Now, it's prohibited.

Mak, Kak Yah, Kak Nor and few other relatives; mainly women, were in the kitchen. I don't how to say, not to say in, because the kitchen and the place to watch tv was wall-less. Everything was prepared, from lemang to manoq pansoh, from ketupat to kuih lapis. Biscuits too. Lemang was nenek perempuan's expertise, she knew when to turn them around and make them fully cooked and tasted nice, too.

The next morning, the deep whisper voice was here again. My dad, would wake us up early in the morning to get ready for Raya. Finally, the day is here. I can hear Takbir Hari Raya sayup-sayup. The Masjid was across the river, so nenek, being an Imam in Kampung, had to be there earlier than the rest of the kampung. We can hear nenek led the Takbir. I was really, genuinely happy, at that time. I know the time nearing us, kids.

When nenek got back from Masjid, he gathered all my relatives around him and the eldest of dad's siblings, Wa Yaman, led the team to kiss neneks' hands, knees, cheeks and hug them. First, kiss the hands, then the knees, then the cheeks, then hug them. I've learned that from previous raya, so it should not be too awkward now. Followed by Wa Yaman's wife, Wa Limah, and down to Ngah Wek and Ngah Ramzi and till the last one, Usu Yot and Usu Usin.

Dad has five siblings including him, so it was not long till it was my turn. I got the green packet, just like my cousins. We were all happy, already start counting the amount we all had. We got it from moms and dads, and older cousins. Suddenly I become rich by below $50. Yeah, it was still $, remember?

When nenek came back from masjid earlier he brought back duit tanggok; I don't know for sure what this was (I'll ask dad later). It was in the form of coins. Called duit tanggok because when they were doing the takbir in masjid early this morning, someone will have his kain pelikat formed like a tangguk and collect all the coins from the villagers. These coins, been put on the floor, ready to be counted. As nenek counted them out with Kak Yah, there we go, running here and there playing. I ran just beside nenek and Kak Yah, with warning from nenek "Iboh dekat gilak, kau tersepak duit tok kelak". I never knew it was possible till I really did kick all the coins which were nicely piled up according to their value. Nasib bait agik kecik, mun dah besar... Hehe. They have to recount back. Poor nenek. Poor Kak Yah.

1st day of raya our relatives who came all the way from Bekenu, Bintulu, Miri and as far as Brunei; would come to nenek's house. Nenek was the eldest of how many siblings I don't recall; seven I guess; so his house will be the 1st priority to be visited. It was packed, really packed. All the mothers just didn't bother what us kids did, but they need to serve the guests.

Everything was just right.... till come 2006.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Raya I

My dad would wake us all up in his deepest whisper voice (to ensure that neighbours don't know that we were about to take off, I guess). At that time, it was pretty annoying to hear to that whispers, be it from my mom or my dad, cos we know, that was the time when our sleep were disturbed. Tapi kinek tok, they don't wake us up anymore, ala grow up la, ada alarm clock. I missed the voice already.

I didn't recall taking bath early in mornings before we took off (everytime), but most probably yes because I remembered once we got off into dad's Liteace Van, we were awake. But most probably too, I didn't take my bath because I vividly imagined my dad would lift us, one by one, into the Van, and onto the floor of the Van, where a thin mattress was laid down for my sister and I.

It was still dark, the surroundings were still very cold and silent. Our immediate neighbour was a young chinese couple, Mr and Mrs Ooi. They were game addicts, recalling that my brother, my sister and I would go to their house and played games with them. They had a dog, which was as tall as me. I didn't know till now maybe I would already have patted the dog. But most probably (yes, again, I don't recall details) I did. My sister and my brother did too.

Taking off in the wee hours like that, had been dad's habit. He was always early and it was easy for him to implement his habit as we were all young and we had to adhere to his instructions. Our things had been nicely packed up in one bag, not forgetting all the baju kurungs that had been sewed few weeks earlier. My sister and I would have the same pair of shoes and socks, but in different color. I guess my mom wanted us to look like twins, but can be recognised.

Back in the van, my sister and I would continue our sleep and my brother would sit at the back of the van, taking the longest chair that he can stretched up. I, being the last, had always been lost in brother-little sister fight over that long chair at the back. But, my place wasn't bad too. I was at the back of the driver's seat, where under my feet was that mattress that I mentioned. Whenever I felt that I needed to stretch up, I will always have that chair, but whenever I want to sleep, there's mattress lying on the floor.

That Liteace Van, was decorated with a pink lace, kira macam langsir omputeh engkah di dapur nya, getah atas getas dibah. Stretched with a flexible wire, covered only back seats. During that hour, that lace was not disturbing. But, when we reached Selangau or after Sibu district, it was already afternoon and the pink lace will somewhat make our eyes squint. Its a pink lace. It should make our eyes squint.

The winding roads between Mukah and Niah were like a sleeping pills for both my sister and I. Most of the way to Niah, we were asleep. When night came, we already reached Bintulu road. My eyes just couldn't send myself to sleep already, as sleep mostly accumulated during the day.

I can feel that we were nearing Niah as the ambience along that Bintulu road, where lampu2 raya and tuntong udah dinyalakan. Nei ndak, kawasan tok ramei orang Islam and orang Melayu, so I guess it was already in Niah district, whereas it was still far.

The van shaked left and right as dad drove the van on the big stones and dust, but mostly were soil. That, woke my sister and I up and lampu raya tepi2 jalan made our heart beat faster. Here it is...

That almost 12 - 15 hours journey ended up arriving in Niah in dark, again. Just like when we took off this morning. I was ecstatic, knowing that we arrived in Niah safely, and knowing that there will be playtime with cousins; Khair, Mie and Ann.

Sampei-sampei jak Niah, mekorang park van dibah pokok seberang jalan. By that time, the road in Kampung Dagang was not tar, nya jalan batu n tanah (from Simpang Ngu masuk ke Kampung). Rumah nenek di seberang sungei, there was no bridge connecting to the other side. Everyone in every house had been asleep, so here, I was listening to that deep whisper voice again from my parents.

To go to nenek's house, kamekorang perlu seghawo (yell) ke sidak di rumah nenek. That time, Kak Yah was staying with my grandparents. So most time she'll pick us up using the motorboat. Perauk ber-enjen. She started and pressed the engine slightly, just to make sure we didn't make too much noise that would make the villagers wake up. We put all things in the boat, and boarded the boat carefully, as you know, it was pitch dark. The crocodile-infested river, Sungei Niah, was cold as I dipped my hands into the river.

Sampei di kalan (pengkalan), kamek semua ngembak barang2 naik ke rumah. I knew, Khair and Mie had been waiting for us! They were asleep before that but they woke up whan heard us arrived. Ngah Ramzi and Ngah Wek, Khair, Mie and Kak Yah's parents, were also there. Ann, and Wa Yaman with her wife, Wa Limah were also there, waiting for our arrival.

Nenek laki n nenek ompuan were at the back of the house, the biggest part of the house. The kitchen, dining hall, my grandparents room, my cousin's (Kak Yah) room and the bathroom were all at the back house. The front part of the house were praying room, Kak Nor's room and the living room. I can guess that the house was 30 metres to the back.

Everyone was about to sleep when we came but when we did arrive, the generator kicked in again and the night was alive, again.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Gambar KL - S'pore

Pardon for the blur images. Pardon for the wrong date. Pardon for the sequence of images yang sik betul. Just enjoy.

Aida dan Bege. Cute, adorable couple. Bila la sidak nak kawen...
Lipat kerusi, hampar comforter, voila! Jadi katil untuk Si Kecil Zara.

IPBA - Park Hotel?

Been trying to avoid following my sister and her husband, Niko to Singapore. My excuse was some of my wedding preparation have not been seen and evaluated (ewwah alu juak, perlu kah evaluate). I've been planning to go to a wedding showroom, cos I want the yellow songket so badly!
And, the papers for my wedding card, things to buy untuk sirih junjung, things to buy for my hantaran....and the list goes on.

But, it was 2.30PM, my family was discussing on how both my sis n Niko going to Singapore. They considered AeroLine or FireFly. My dad won't let them go because of the H1N1 breakout, they almost decided to just let Niko go alone without my sister and their baby. My sister dah sulked, knowing that, everything will be paid by Niko's company, so people, from hotel to food, semuanya gratis!!!

Seeing my sister sulked, she already changed her clothes to baju rumah, I went into the discussion, jadi heroin kejap. I offered my City and me to be the driver second-in-line. They all quickly agreed. So.... everyone was packing up while I was still digesting my own decision to go to Singapore, having no money, and knowing my hantarans will be a bit cheaper over here.... CreditCard so good... CreditCard so good... CreditCard so good... hati sudah chanted.

And yes, I know, I will be having my second appointment with Dato' Dr Arumugam, a heart specialist in Pantai (yes, this should be another post then, its a whole different story) on Saturday, and my road tax is to be renewed on 15th August. So off we went to Singapore, on a road trip, with minimal stops as we avoided the public (H1N1).

So, smp JB jak, I was excited, because it has been long time since I visited JB. The last one was in 2005. Fckin 4 years ago. Wow. And yes, 4 years it takes to make me recognised nothing, just some prominent buildings where I clubbed or hanged out with friends, CS, BlueWave, Zon... and our last resort was CS jaklah, senang, makan McD.

I called up my friends, Aida and Bege and yes all grow up menjadi matang. Hoh, we had quite a laugh there in mcD. Jumpa sidak in 15 minutes ajak, rushed to get to Singapore takut apa2hal sik lepas.

Sampei2 jak di checkpoint ya, we were stucked at the AutoPass Card that we have to purchase (I still dont know what purpose it served). They said I need to pay penalti SGD10 as my road tax is overdue! I quickly convinced her that it was to be renewed on the 15th, not today. And I saw at my road tax....ya, it was today. Another RM2k needs to be invested. Aiseh, potong2.

Pas ya, syukor juak lah, all the Singaporean were very helpful and informative. We managed to go through without any hassels and straight went to the Hotel to check in and have a long long hot bath.

Now, its 8.32AM and we're preparing ourselves to stroll through the park behind the hotel ( I dont know but I can see the river from here).

Afternoon we'll be checking out and to JB, plan was to go to Persada Johor for the PC fair. With Aida lagi! Yeay. My fiance wants me to check out the Celcom Broadband plan.

So, jumpa lagi lah bila2 rasa mok update...


Monday, August 10, 2009


Oh, patut la...the comment part is not working. Rasa nak gugok jantong. Lelah molah baru eh. Huhu.

Friday, August 7, 2009

Polis Sentri @ KL

Main tapok-tapok (this is sembunyi2 in Bahasa Swak), tapi in big scale (in a city), but with real cops, and real information giver. Suupp sana, suppp sini, dekat lorong2 Kuala Lumpur. Once kenak tangkap, you'll be caught and put in real jail, and needs to be bailed.

How's that for our next playtime?

Bes eh!!! Next time, if I have the courage, I'll bring along my fiancee. Just for protection. Hehe.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Wedding Part II

Take a great look at these pictures:

More of them are here . It was super nice to have them picture our big day ha. I just don't fancy asking around anymore as I've learnt my lesson with FloraEtc. Haha. Close friends know better.
I stumbled upon this cute little photographs taken by David something his name under axioo, at Plaza Indonesia at the interconnecting bridge between the Plaza and EX Plaza. For those who been there, tauk lah kali. Eena and Syima know too but I think they sik ambik port. Hehe. But I was so amazed by his creativity in editing those pictures into warm ones. I'll have this technic to edit my own, will try to search for the tutorial though :P.

As known, I've been to Indonesia in search for my wedding preparation things. Everything's 90% bought from there, and that 10% balance will be bought once I go there, again, to pick up my wedding dresses from the streamstress (once a neighbour to my sister in Gang Langgar, Lenteng Agung). She just lost her husband, and her husband was like a father to my sister and brother-in-law. Bu Ati and her husband were the neighbours that are sought after - taking care of the neighbours, very down to earth (sapa sik, if they are rich - in Indo - quite sure this is not their trait). When we visited Bu Ati (intended to give all the things needed to be sewn), she was still in a state of grieving her lost. Poor her, alone, and without a neighbour (my sister moved to Jalan Timbul 3A, Jakarta Selatan last year).

And I did have my urut and lulur. All the way right in the home of my sister. Haha. Tukang urut ya, Bu Dewi namanya, datang ke umah, specially came to urut and lulur the bride-to-be. Edeh. Siklah. She was there, initially because my parents needed her, cos they've been with me all day for 2 days straight. Bringing the plastic bag full of 50metres of kain, and whatnots. I carried almost everything at the end of the day, cos kesian nanggar daknya dah berumur tapi terpaksa ngembak barang berat2. End up I brought the things, seret ke lantei. Dah sik larat.

Things that I've bought in Jakarta:
1) Tiara, Necklace, ring and other accessories
2) Kain untuk family
3) Kain untuk extended families
4) Kain untuk flower girls and boy
5) Sure la- kain for the bride herself, 2 pasang
6) Kain untuk curtains di beranda, pelamin, bilik
7) Kain untuk cadar - yes, I made it myself
8) Kain untuk runner meja for guests - super nice I love it.
9) Bunga2 untuk decoration - SSF did catch my attention, but the price...huhu to be cried over.
10)Other things that I might forget while I'm writing this.

All in all, budget VS cost, I saved up almost RM2000. Quite reasonable aih. Dengan cuti nya lagik kan. Berbaloi...berbaloi.
Things left to be settled adalah:
1) Kad jemputan
2) Kasut kawen - nak molah kedirik juak
3) ......
Sekda dah kali? Ya jak nak?

Wow. Boleh tahan juak persiapan tok oh. Tinggal duak jak major yang belum siap. Cool.
Will post the things later, in picture ok. ~ Like as if ada orang baca blog tok. Waiting for the visual presentation. Teehee.

Oklah, chow lok. Anyway, I hate changing the template. Bagus agik makei kaki ayam ari ya. Haih.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Si Mata Biru

Sometimes something we precious most, will be taken away from us. No matter how adorable it is. Read here. It's heart-wrenching. I know it, cos I was there ~ virtually. Condolences for him. Even though it's only a cat, but it's a life.
Sob sob.
Update: Both kitties were both in heaven by the time I wrote this.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Thanks Y'all.

I expressed some dissapointment in my previous post towards the W-day. I complained that some things have yet to be finalised, most of the things have yet to be decided and reviewed in detail. That sort of things.
But the feedback was, I should be moderate and be average towards my W-day. That shocked me, coz I didnt even mention about having an elaborated wedding though.
I dont know if my post reflected / projected through that post that I want one of a kind wedding, and elaborated one, and expensive one. But that's not my intention.
I was just trying to get the message across about my wedding preparation, that is. Everyone wants their wedding to be special, just don't let it be your burden.
Anyway, I thanked all the commentors for keeping me on my track.
Here are some of the pictures I took when I went to Genting with my family, lebih 3 bulan lepas. Haha.

Bunga Genting.

Di dalam Kasino Malaysia.

Kereta kuda ku - She's been to Penang, Muar and Genting
Oklah tu sahaja.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

W-day, postponed??

The reason why I do not blog / update my blog for quite a long time is because I bloghop now. Not only my friends' blogs, but also some strangers blogs, where, I came there by typing

'baju kahwin'
'baju pengantin'

and yes, I arrived at their blogs.

Almost all blog owners that I visited either are in processto become someone's wife, or someone's fiance, or someone's mom (1st pregnancy, most of it). And yes, some of them are honeymooning.

When I read through their honeymoon trips, together with their husbands, I come to think of myhoneymoon. Sad, yes, that I have not yet deciding where and when should I go for honeymoon after our receptions. Ya, we do have one trip off Malaysia, but that will be with my family - Abang, Ijah,Niko and Zara. Not just both of us. So, you see, I will not have my own privacy with my new-found(hehe) husband that time, nor I have memories to create before we get back to the hectic life we have (read: work work work) in Malaysia.

I dont know, I feel like crying whenever I read their blogs, going to the honeymoon together,the husband being so nice and sweet, sik perlu cerita la pompuan mesti la always nice and sweet.

But when it comes to me, I don't recall him as being nice and sweet, lately, anymore.

I don't recall him to be part of my wedding day preparation.
And believe it or not, it's 4 months to go and I have yet to finalise ANYTHING.

Sometimes it frustrating to read other people's blog and then become frustrated. Heh.

Initially twas searching for the bride's dress ideas. Then all the blogs started to show.

Whenever I need a hand from my fiance, we are in not-talking-to-each-other (read: kelahi) mode.
Whenever I need my sister to help me on design and ideas, she is busy with her thesis, Zara and her husband.
Whenever I need my friends, they are either working, or studying. Worse, I don't have any other friends to help me.

I feel pathetic towards the W-day.
I feel like giving up all the preparations.
I fell like giving up - us.

Help me.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Pelawat Pertama & Terakhir

Thanks Nadeeya and Arfa sebab sudi melawat Emma yang sakit :P next time plan lah betul2, Transformers k girls?

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Escalator Berhantu

I fell down the escalator.

Where the opposite way, people were coming in for work. Bayangkan betapa malu.


Fell down like, rolling through the escalator down to the last step of the escalator.

What a day to start work ha...

Saturday, May 16, 2009


Batu Feringghi, Penang. From below (clockwise): Emma, Maimon, Ijah

I just went back from North and I found myself really in love with him, again.

It feels so right to be beside him, and hanging around like we used to.

Am listening to my fav song on my fav radio station, and my tears start to pool up. I found one picture that I was longing to have, it was 4 f*ckin years ago.

Not too long for others, but for me, that's like waiting to have another Persian Cat. When again, I read through my old blog there in friendster (I know, lame), I used language which speaks up more than now. I have lose my skill in writing in English and I have yet to discover new vocab in English. Gotta have a new dict and read more RD.

Updates from Penang:

On the first day, I surprised him by not telling him I was going to Penang last weekend. Pakatan dengan mak mentua to be, and sister in law to be was successful haha. He went outfor futsal and went back at 2AM (by this time I just stepped out of the car, arrived). He was speechless. That was fun. Friday, nothing much. He was helping his friend, Sani setting up balai untuk kawen. He got married last week (24/4/2009) and the receptions were last week which is 2/5 and 3/5. This is the main reason I went to Penang.

On Friday night, we went to Pacific (tok paling cool kah di Seberang Prai, sebab cam sik bes jak ehehe) and bought Sani and his wife a present. Hadiah kawen bah. On Saturday, we went to Sani's reception at the bride's side, in Kepala Batas. Semua anak mami. Hehe.'Twas ok, even though it rained that day.

That night, we didn't even go to Search Konsert di Awan Biru, walaupun ada melintas di tempat konsert dijalankan and I saw 4 big containers with Search printed all over thecontainers, kinda cool. I went to see him playing football with Delima @ Kepala Batas.

Malam itu, makan2 bersama mother in law to be, sis in law to be and her brother, cousin and her brother's girlfriend, Masitah. Mek Sitoh. Hehe. Then, he wanted to eat KFC. Yeah, he likes KFC. We then went to Auto City to enjoythe delicacy ( I call it delicacy as it is rare for us). Udah ya, esoknya, ambik Sani dan bininya dari Kepala Batas ke umah Sani, reception atthe groom's side.

Was rushing to go back to KL, kota traffic jam.

I really need a vacation heh.

Faith / Qada'


My alarm car went off when I locked it.
I parked my car just in front of the burnt down Bistro.I walked towards CIMB, sederet Mahbub. My right was Bangsar Village, my back was a row of houses. On my left, far left, is the Pizza Hut.

I walked, with my jeans, all torned down at the knee part, sedikit koyak juga di belakang.I wore Beatles cheap t-shirt, turquoise in color. Rambut remos, not too high macam stewardess Air Asia. Eyeliner semestinya nampak dari jauh.

Walk with dignity. Sombong.

I tried to potray the image of a rocker like me can also drive a Honda with reserved plate number. A passer-by, who happened to be a salesman tried to stop me halfway to the CIMB, gave me a pamphlet.

Dengan muka sombong, I took the pamphlet and walked off without giving any chance for the salesman to even explain what he was trying to sell. He walked away from me to find another victim, maybe.

Dengan muka sombong lagi, I read the pamphlet, while walking. Still, trying to potray to people around me that a rocker, seluar koyak, can still drive a Honda, and can actually read.

Sedikit lagi hendak sampai ke CIMB...
Masih membaca...
Masih sombong...


Aku jatuh.

Terjelopok macam tu, like a girl fell down from a swing. I sat at the kaki lima like a girl sitting in front of her mother-in-law, sopan bersimpuh. My handbag were wide open, berterabur barang2 di dalam.

In front of me, a guy, Indonesian guy, with his pink basket of cashew nuts, our eyes were level. He was laughing silently at me, but he was laughing hard. His shoulder were shaken by his laughter, smoke from the cigeratte keluar bergetar-getar dari mulut, hasil laughing.

I can see that his eyes had water in them, watery-shakenly shoulder-laugh he had. I waved the pamphlet which, was still in my hand, at him. "Awak jangan la gelak!"We were like having our private jokes by then.

Orang2 yang lepak di Mahbub were all staring at us. Trying to understand, maybe.
The Indonesian guy, told me "Mungkin licin ya sedikit di situ". I was trying to explain to him that the curb and bla bla but, alah, no point maybe. So, I woke up, slowly, went into CIMB, still laughing, pegi cucuk sedikit duit for Bunga Telur, for later.

Selesai transaksi, I went out of the CIMB, my eyes searching for the Indonesian guy who I had private joke with seconds ago. He looked at me, and said "Kacang kak..." still, obviously, the laugh did not die there and then when I did get up from my fall just now. Even the "Kacang, kak" also was not intended forhis kacang to be sold, but just a joke to make me remember more of him. I smiled.

Ahhh....That was the story when I had my private joke with someone, I never knew existed.

Back in the car,I was thinking about faith. Faith brings people together. Faith is something like Qada', at least to my opinion. Faith brings me, and the Indonesian guy together and had a private joke,in Bangsar, for a mere few seconds. When we were kids, I was in Sarawak. He was probably in Jawa Timur. We met, in Bangsar. In an unexpected situation. Masa kecik2, bukan pernah terfikir that we even brush shoulders with people halfway around the world (in my case, not halfway, it's quarter?).

I was so naive that I did not even care how to accept faith, back when I was young. I broke up with my ex-bf, that one week of hell I went through just to beg him to stay with me. But where am I now? Engaged to someone else who I never think I can get my hands on him.

I have a friend who still trying to beg her bf to come back to her, I have no idea on how to console her,but I told her to just believe in faith. Faith will always assure the feeling of uneasiness.

When I see my sister, in our case, both of us from Sarawak, now happily married with a guy from Ambarawa. Yes, where the hell is Ambarawa before we knew him?

My brother, also, lives in Borneo for quarter a century, can meet up with an Australian lorry driver who generously paid for his return ticket to Malaysia.

Faith do odd things that we human can never imagine or imply.
Faith. Yes, you Faith.
You should and shall believe in one.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Takkan Jawi Hilang di Dunia

Anak kekanda yang bongsu bernama Halimah dan yang
kecil2 anak Mara'ee cucu2 kepada kekanda.

From left: Cik Lani (kawan ayah), Nek Usu Limah, Ngah Siti Hauwah, Ayah

I found this old photo of my dad when he was a kid, maybe 3 or 4 years old. Cik Lani is his cousin cum good friend when they were young. The descriptions at the back might be written by my dad's granduncle. He wrote in Malaya cos they were from Tanah Melayu, having travelled to Sarawak untuk berdagang kain. He wrote in tulisan jawi. He wrote to my dad's grandfather, Sheikh Abdullah (cos he stated that my dad "cucu2").

 Nasib baik kamek pandey maca jawi, mun sik, comak ajak orang dalam gambar ya dipadah sapa2 ajak lah. 

Gambar ya siap ada memew and duak ekor manok. Tinggi benar juak manok ya oh. 

Jangan mansuh tulisan jawi.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

How Was Your First Day, Kakak?

Kakak Akma.

This 2 words sentence really piss me off. First, because she spelt my name wrongly. It is, yet, still forgiven as we known each other for a mere few hours and parted ways. But...but she
has been calling me Kakak since Day 1. That, piss me off.

On the first day of job, during the report duty thing at the HR, I was waiting in front of the office door, where all the empty boxes were being put. I don't know for what purpose, but they were there and it fits perfectly on my need to put my things down. So, I put all my documents and etc on the box, waiting for someone to open the door for me. It was 7.20 in the morning and I didnt expect someone to open the door at that time. So I waited.

While waiting, I saw the door opened, from inside, I knew some people just prefer to arrive at
their offices early like what I did, that day.

There, emerging from the HR office, a guy, somewhat girlish I might say, a little shorter than me, with black thick rimmed glass, said, "Akak nak bawak masuk kotak ni eh?"

I didn't reply.

And when he saw my documents on top of the boxes, he cupped his mouth, his eyes grew wider and yes,"Oh sori! sori! You nak report duty ye, masuk masuk!".

After that it was silence. Silence it was, I heard his shoes cloaking towards the Men's toilet
I accidentally got into before I have this incident.

I stood there, thinking. Baju kurung aku ni buruk sangat ke smp kena panggil orang angkut boxes?

I might say that he was rather embarrased too by that statements he made as he walked quite quickly into the toilet.

Haih, I let myself in and it was really, like really the worst first day that I had.

Is it a big deal or I'm making it a big problem to myself?

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Bersamamu, TV3

Kat dalam air tu, banyak lintah, SEKSA!

Monday, April 20, 2009

Notepad Blog

That I always start my blog writing in a Notepad. Fearing of the loss of data during execution.


And they always dont start with titles.

Everyday I walk from Masjid Jamek to my office. Whenever I walk, I would reminisce all the memories I had before I even have jobs and before I enter tough years in University (Read: 2nd year). That during the interval time between UTM and UM came rushing back at the back of my brain, flashing in front of my eyes. Going out as early as class finished (4.00PM) and balit ke asrama as early as 6.00AM. I missed going out, hanging out with friends (Mimi, Aida, Nadeeya, Cyrus). Yes, we do have some bitter moments, but that don't matter to all of us. It always healed back.
Now, Aida is in JB, Cyrus and Nadeeya in Shah Alam, Mimi somewhere in KL I think she lives with her relatives in UM. We are not like we used to. We all go our own way.


No. I can't. I should go to Nadeeya's house when she finish her exam.
Can't take it. Yeeargh.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Cerca Merba (betulkah oi?)

I feel so old.

I'm 24 (this Oct), I'm working, going to be married and I dress like 30-year olds.
No wonder people with the I.C. 8004XX-XX-XX98 called me "Akak dulu keja mana?".
I replied, "HA?" Then only she re-stated her question with Awak.

kamek yang pekak?

Ijah slalu madah ema tok pekak. Ayah slalu terpaksa ulang what he said because I repeatedly said Ah? Ah? sebab sik dengar. Mak jarang komplen sebab nya jarang madah molah apa molah apa. Abang, seperti sedia maklum, mala jak madah ema pekak sebab apa jokesnya ema sik dengar.

I should go to that ENT tepi KTM di Brickfields.

Most people thought I'm married. Ever since I start working. When I was in Uni, sekda pun orang sebok2 madah "Kau dah kawen ke?" or "Akak skarang anak brapa?".

But nowadays I got a lot of that kind of statements. I just dont know how to reply.
Because they offended me big time.

Should I buy those skinny office attire just to make sure I look younger?
Should I do a face job to make myself like 19 year olds?
Should I just shut up, and pissed myself off dalam hati?

I dont know.

Lagi2 bila udah bertunang tok. Ada duak igek cincin di jari tok, makes me look like a mother of two. I actually dont prefer yellow gold, but. It's not my decision to make.

I hope after I get married no one will say "Awak ni single lagi tak?"


Thursday, April 16, 2009

Birthday Tengah Bulan?

I forgot to make this public - my sister has delivered a healthy, fair, full of hairbaby girl at 3.46AM on Wednesday ~ 15th April 09 @ hospital Putrajaya. Alhamdulillah she and Zara are healthy.

Her name is Zara Nadeeya Puspitaningrum. What a name. kalah auntie nya eh.
sik sabar rasanya nak main2 dengan nya. pulangla cepat, ema mok nya ilek2 denganema. hehe.

Pic coming soon.

Copy or Just Inspired

There it goes again. First it was Radiohead, then it was Foo fighters, now it's Muse. Not forgetting The Strokes.

Even though I don't like the idea of TRYING to copy, but I like to hear thisparticular radio station.

But the downside is, the claimed that it's not cool to listen to songs other thanMalaysian songs, but...but they are inspired by those I have mentioned.

Iboh jak madah sik suka, tapi bila dah nak molah lagu, last2 pakei lagu daknya juak.Makei layar daknya juak. Then blame orang nengar lagu omputeh.

Sigek ya jak. heessh.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009


Today is my second day of working. Surprisingly, I am not excited nor fresh. Maybe it's the three weeks holiday that I had before I got into this job. I really like being at home, without having to be in the office before 8.45AM. I browsed through the one of the university's website just to "see" how's the postgraduates programme going, and filled them up. haha. but it stopped before I even warmed up because they need us to fill up the introduction to research. damn.

I've read some blogs regarding the transition of the people's vote against the government. I was used to be the other side. but whenever I read those blogs again, the "accusation" made by the PR are making sense. The accusation looks so true and normal. Whenever I finish reading those, it'll appear in the TV (mainly berita) and I see the contradiction. I can see that the mainstream media are making those topics hotter. I can now see the difference. Because I read the prior of watching TV, and that's not it, I watched from reliable sources.

I've made it a point (after having lunch with Yus, my new cubic mate) to do what I thought previously, masters. I should proceed, I guess.

Till then.

(still hoping for a fruitful blog)

Friday, April 10, 2009

Sekda Papa Nak Di Padah... cuma

That the tri-election has passed. I am glad the we've won 2 hills and lost Batang Ai. That's ok coz i know the Sarawakians have yet to see the real truth. I am a Sarawakian myself but ive been living in the peninsula since 1998. the PR will need some time to penetrate the kingdom of the Pehin Sarawak (I dont know why he called himself Pehin where else the pangkat is belong to Bruneian). The Pehin Kingdom has been in Sarawak for almost half the decade. And PR will need years to convince the Sarawakians to vote against the government. Sooner or later they'll see changes happen in the peninsula and they'll vote against the government. This, I predict will fully be PR's government during PRU 14?

I went to Low Yat the other day and managed to upgrade my PC. PC kamek dah outdated gilak sampeikan nak burn CD pun nya akan hang. siannya. So the technician told me mine was DDR1 instead of the famous DDR2. That means, cost more money. DDR1 is very rare nowadays that 1GB costed me RM135. hm... sedangkan ema nanggar di ari ya, DDR2 kingston 4GB adalah bersamaan dengan RM125. Sian kan. heee..

I've bought HDD too 160GB costed RM115. IDE. heh.

And now i have a faster (and still hangs) PC. The reason that i upgraded my PC was I need to finish up a promise to someone, where he paid for his website and I have yet to finish them. in order for me to finish up the website, I will need to have Adobe Photoshop CS which runs quite a handful of memory to go.

Now it's 12.30PM and my sister nudged me to cook something. My dad is coming home soon from school and I am responsible of lunches and dinners. Yeah, unemployed. biasalah. hehe. 

Speaking of jobs, I have been out of job for 3 weeks. Even though I'm not at the office, but the salary masuk lah until this 11th April. Jap, which is today! Haha. I'll be in the new place next Monday. Dah coming to an end lah cuti ema tok. Best juak, cuti2 dapat gaji. I've gone to Bukit Tinggi, Genting Highlands and insyaAllah PD. haha. bes eh.

Bah, kamek nak masak lok. 

P/S: marek ada nemu orang di Elken and he told us (Emma, mak, Mayeng, Payeng ~ Atuk n Nenek dalam bahasa Melanau) "dah mau pulai?" Haha. Mun sik tauk kelakar sarawak iboh..
Pulai is Bahasa Iban. Bahasa Melayu Swak is pulang where else Melanau is pulek.

Backing off.

Friday, April 3, 2009

My Engagement Photos

Hello all,

I am now at one of the hills di Banjaran Titiwangsa atau lebih famously known as... Genting Highlands. Haha. marek I went to the theme park, but nothing new for me (for me la ok). Staying at Awana Golf and Country Resort, quite a nice hotel and sejoooookkk eh. pagi2 sik nampak di luar sebab kabus nya tebal gilak. Now is 7.48AM and the fog still hasnt go away.

I'll be taking some photographs with abang Sham and D. huhu.

Anyway, the photos are here: . Feel free to view ok. So now im going off to ebay to see my items. hehe. babaaiii...

Monday, March 23, 2009

My Last Post


mungkin kah seseorang berdebar when he/she reads my headline today? hehe. Yes, it's my last post, but from the laptop given by Opensys. Today I will hand over the laptop to my colleague for him to take over all the programs I held previously. Now I'm cleaning up all the personal matters in this laptop, while waiting for all the things to complete burnt, Ema tulislah tok. Hehe.

Yesterday, I went to Bukit Tinggi. Best juak lah, I went with all my cousins n my sister n her husband. Abang Sham had a pre-wedding photography with his client, a co-producer in TV9. Cantek juak sanggul ompuan ya.

Day before yesterday was my cousin's wedding, Khair. He's an engineer in petronas n wed one of the orang2 baik. eheh. Memang nya baik. Nurul namanya. but i wonder where she got the name whereas her real name is Zaiton.

2 days before was... my engagement! Haha. yes, I'm engaged now and I'm someone's fiance. I am engaged to my long-time boyfriend, Faidrol. Thanks faidrol for choosing me :). Photos coming up soon.

I have yet to lose my weight. Sedihnya. Mok jog lah tiap2 ari.

Kelak sambung agik. After I hand over this laptop, then I'll be going back home. Yeay!

Bah, mupok lok pok.

Friday, March 13, 2009

And So I'll leave

Iyah, after 1 year and 3 months plus it's time to move on. I'll be having a new set of life. Thanks Allah for making my dream come true, mak ayah, ijah and Faidrol for praying for me.

I'll do the best, this time.

I promise.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Tagged by D

D ni kenapa kena tag2. mentang2 la D ada tag nak bawak orang masuk dari lobi. hehe. oklah. this is the 6th picture from my 6th folder. actually i dont have 6th folder in my pictures folder, but boleh la 6th picture kan.

Tag challenge is this:
Go to your photos folder in your computer.
Go to the 6th folder of photos.
Go to the 6th picture in that folder.
Put the picture on your blog and describe about it.
Invite six friends to join the challenge.
Link them in your blog and let them know they have been challenged.

Guess what are they doing? She's reading a newspaper.
Location? A house in Shah Alam
When? 01.03.2009
Using? Using Nikon D80
Why I like it? I don't like it, haha. It's the tag thing, chose by the instructions kan.
sapa nak tag?
I'm tagging:
my sister, her husband Niko, Eena, sapa agik? I dunno..abg sham lah. Hehe. another 2 sapa2 rasa nak buat sila buat. jangan malu2.

Cita Marek

Marek, kamek bejalan2 di antara Masjid Jamek LRT n puduraya. Di pagi hari agik ya. huhu. apa kah polah? insyaAllah mun sekda papa i'll tell u guys.

Sambil berjalan2, mata pun melilau nanggar kiri kanan. Bejalan bejalan bejalan belajan blenajal brinjal, sampei lah ke satu lorong. di lorong ya ema boleh nampak "Hotel Cintamani". Haha paloi alu jak. (ok i'm Mirian, alu, sik kali).

bila dah balit, otw dalam LRT ke rumah, kamek ternampak agik ada omputeh ngembak paperbag "Babila". haha. gila lah brand ya. i supposed it's one of the high end brands kali tempat daknya. tapi nama nang sik bes lah.

ari tok tek, ema pakei baju biru. deep sea blue. tapi, hari tok juak ema nampak ramei pekerja LRT which were wearing the same kind of blue shirt. haha. sia sinek jak nampak daknya. adakah saikologi ataupun benar2 berlaku. ema pun sik tauk.

Ema kinek tok kerja agak tenang, coz orang yang mala jak madah nya banyak kerja ya sekda di opis, nya di site. syok oo iboh nanggar mukanya.

i'm waiting for the born of my first niece. haih, gine lah mukanya kelak. i hope she'll be as cute as me. haha. yeah rite. my sis n her family are planning to settle down in KL instead of Jakarta because Niko wants to send her kids to Malaysian schools. I know some of the cons of sending kids to typical public schools here, but i know some pros too. so mungkin betul juaklah his decision. Yeay here too as i dont have to be far from my sis!

another 20 - 4 = 16 days to go man.. i'll tell u guys (again!) when the time comes. i hope nothing will go wrong. Amin.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Grow Up

I supposed have written this post yesterday, but PB internet security can't be tolerate, soeverything that i've typed wiped out abis.

I read some comments that might have hurt my friend in some way, and i know that those people who judge people according to their choice of eyeliner, what i can say is, grow up.
Eyeliner is just a brush dipped in some black/blue whatever color u prefer liquid and it is mainly the same for all brands. if that's the case with liquid eyeliner. kalau pencil eyeliner,ala, macam pensil!

Whatever brand you use, it'll not reflect your truly self. Kalau kita pakai Bobbi Brown sekalipun, does that shows you that you are nice? If we use Body Shop, does that shows you that you are hygenic?

They should have think before they write any comments that might hurt someone else's feelings.

Brand does not matter, your attitude is what matters most.

I have a cousin who is the Assistant General Manager in TM, and she dont even use a branded handbag.

What I see is she uses handbag which she proudly announced she bought in some pasar malam in Klang.Even orang yang banyak duit pun dont fight about having a MAC eyeliner. hehe.

As for other side of the story, the person who used to befriended me in the first year don't
even back my friend, who is supposed to back her.

Yeah, for now, my friend and i ignored her but bitching about her is the best la kan.

She used to be one of my good friend when suddenlyI knew that she's been telling her mom my secrets. I dont mind, but the thing is her mom will somewhat think that i'm a bad person judging the secrets that she's been telling.

Dahlah sik mok ngaku.

Kak ya boleh backup diri sendiri sedangkan dah trapped. Ada juak orang kedak tok.

Dan nya boleh agik madah kalau ema mok kawan dengannya, kawan, sik, sik.

What a precious friendship i want to cherish, NOT!!

I don't regret losing a friend like her.

So, officially, I'm down to one friend, Eena.

Bencik eh Ompuan Ya...

Nya ya belagak bagus. Bila mana mok molah kerja, mesti malar jak madah dengan kita tek "Kau dah siap kerja? Dah start kerja? Dah buat tu? Dah buat ni?" Apahal? Yalah malas gilak dengan orang kedak tok.

Nya ya kadang2 mun udah tension molah kerja, alu lah, "Aku tension aa... bugs tak buat lagi, tak solve lagi. Nak kena ikut orang ni buat laaa.." bla and bla. GTH.

Konon nya banyak gilak kerja la...heh.

I have my work too dammit (rasa2nya lebih dari kerja nya) I don't tell other people that.

Get a life la.

Seb II

LRT pegi balit kerja = RM2.60 vs Keta parking depan opis = RM6.00.

So, park la keta depan LRT kerinchi (free) dan pegi opis naik la LRT.

My first day was OK (using LRT and so forth).

End of the day baruklah....

1) Gugok parit sedalam sampei pinggang - causes my legs to have bruises and unbearable to walk sebab bergesel dengan luka & tenggelam sedalam sepinggang.

2) City carpet has got to be changed entirely because it smells like sh*t. ~RM400

3) ABS Brake MIGHT have been broken ~ RM4K

4) Airbag system rosak juak ~ RM1k.

So much of saving the money, Eena (Eena sahaja yang memahami situasi ni kot).

Semuanya gara-gara...

Flash Flood Di Kuala Lumpur.


Tuesday, February 3, 2009


Kinek tok ema dah sik balit ke umah untuk lunch...
Kinek tok ema dah sik semayang Zohor di umah...
Kinek tok ema dah sik beli apa2...
Kinek tok ema perlu kerja kuat nak try polah website...
Kinek tok ema perlu belajar benar2 makei D80 ya sak dapat ngekot abang Sham shooting...

Semuanya gara2....

Ema gatal.

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